Depend on how the person handle tu juga.. mcm me i look strong but another side im so fragile~..huh..
Aku bersyukur dengan apa yang aku ada sekarang..Happy family?-yes i got it.. Careear?-ya i enjoy it.. Love?-Not so lucky on it..hurmmm..
Love?..i dont know much what love define..mcm aku if im in love with someone mmg org tu akan aku bahagiakan sepertimana kebahagiaan yang aku inginkan..how many n how much im getting hurt?..my answer is few.. rather than a lot~..yaiii!!.. Its been TWICE..ya twice..and it hurt damn much..
At 1st, couple for 6 years..ya so long..but didnt lasting..time ni la aku langsung teda kawan lelaki..not once.. dalam hp pun teda 1 pun nama lelaki,except my baba n lil bro~..time belajar pun dulu langsung aku x join group assignment if ada lelaki..y? sbb mau jaga hati dia..i know him much..he feel insecure when im joining wif other guys~..pi mana pun aku mesti dgn dia ja..if without him my phone wont stop ring..texting n calling all the time..see how much he care~..But y didnt Lasting?.. its so hard for me..muchhh hard n hurtttttt!! he Rest in peace~..know what i mean rite?..im suffering..lost.. :'(~..
Almost a few years juga la me didnt in love..until 1 time i meet this guy and give a try..at that time look ok.. till we getting engaged oredi,brang2 tunang pun sda beli..amazing feeling on that time..but suddenly..my baba telling me something that make me almost FAINTED!!!..goshhh..how dare him..how dare.. double hurt when his family didnt telling me the truth also,like all of them playing around me..i let him him go~..No used for me,lying to me and family such a shit attitude man..how much he explaining and begging i keep away from him..owhhhh how i wish to punch and spit on his face..
These two tragedy do really take my heart away~..
And then i try to despite all the stupid things,get to know other guy..so far it didnt work at all~.. im not so selective,juz looking for the best!!..and meet this guy like he do really adore me..at first im not so in to him.. but i try, didnt know when and how im in love..hurmm..ya in love~..but for this time look like i dont know how to express my feeling..im not like before..so many thing change in me..only 1 things dosent change.. That is my LOYALTY.. At 1st when he try to win my heart he owez be there with me,im replying his text or not he will keep on texting beside calling..Nampak kan usaha dia..until giving me keyakinan la,cuz im telling him that i didnt in to relationship if he not serious with it..and then he admit that he want a serious relationship.. he also planning to marry me..sepa yang x happy kan..but im so afraid it it dosent work later on.. After seeing usaha dia,planning dia and ask me to tell my family about his planning i go for dat relationship~..and now im still with him..but i didnt know why,when we oredi in relationship he look like sometimes OK sometime NOT..maybe me belum cukup kenal dia..dengan sifat semulajadi ppuan lagi yg bila da sayang if kita kol or texting no replying mula la curious..hurmmm..i hate this feeling~..i dont know till when we will be together,what i know is i love him and ill stay with my loyalty syg~..heheee.. sometimes i feel insecure..
So thats what i mean..
"Basically,im aren't afraid to try again..im juz afraid of getting hurt for the same reason~"..
All i can do now is do the best..if itu la jodoh syukur alhamdullilah..im tired being like this.. Memang theres a few guy flirting..but me jenis if aku yang suka i will go for it,but if not i will reject!!..But ini la masalah bila terlalu ikut kemahuan hati sendiri..Risiko untuk hati tu terluka sangat la ada..ya a few friends give advice to me "Bagus lagi couple dengan org yang lebih mencintai ko berbanding ko yang mencintai"..ya i know what does it really mean..but naturally this is what i am.. x semua yang kita inginkan kita akan dapat.. motivate my self by saying "The Best always come in the last chapter of our life"..
All i wanted is Love me like i love u baby~..-I Heart You-
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